There’s a spot just outside where I live that most people walk right past. I think of it as my secret garden.
I filmed a video this week from there. Not because it’s dramatic or picturesque, but because it does something specific for me: it slows me down. It pulls me out of whatever was swirling before I arrived.
That matters more than it might sound.
I’ve been proofreading the upcoming chaos issue of choice Magazine, and one thread that kept surfacing was this: coaches can help clients regulate, find stillness, move away from the noise for a moment, but only when the coach arrives already regulated themselves. The grounded coach. The one who stepped out of their own chaos before stepping into the session.
It’s easy to read that and nod. It’s harder to actually do it.
We talk a lot in coaching about presence, and usually we frame it as something the client benefits from. Which is true. But presence starts earlier than the session does. It starts in the ten minutes before. In the breath before the call connects. In finding your own version of the secret garden, whatever that looks like for you.
For some coaches, it’s a walk. For others, it’s silence, music, or a few minutes with a notebook. The method is less important than the intention: I am going to be regulated before I ask anything of this client.
When a client arrives in chaos, they’re often looking for steadiness they can’t find in themselves. If you’re scattered too, they’ll feel it, even if they can’t name it. The regulation you bring into the room isn’t a nice-to-have. It’s part of the work.
So, from my secret garden to yours: find your place. Find your practice. And then show up ready.
