We are pleased to share an article entitled “Navigating the Noise: A Coach’s Guide to Staying Grounded” written by Pamela J. Green.
During the Donald Trump Presidential years, I spent quite a bit of time on Capitol Hill. Every few days or so, after disembarking the Metro and walking past the Supreme Court building, I would encounter distraction after distraction. With protests to my right, there would be a feeling of chaos to my left on some days and calm on others. I never knew what to expect. Coaching clients amid their office politics while navigating the politics on the Hill made for exciting and often stressful days throughout those years. What coach hasn’t found themselves trying to navigate the noise, a blend of their worldviews, their clients’, and all points in between?
“Life Be Lifing” which is popular slang term that means things are going to happen. I like Chuck Swindoll’s response to “lifing” before it became popular, “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” Reacting or responding to situations in life is at the heart of remaining grounded. Staying grounded suggests the ever-present threat of distraction and a feeling of chaos. Coaches serve as the center of gravity for their clients and can ill-afford to allow the 10% represented by chaos and distraction to rule 90% of their days.
I’ll always remember the day I realized I was allowing 90% of life to dictate my day. In one particular incident, I walked into a client’s office for our session, and they had yet to arrive. As I stood there chatting with some of the staffers, they said, “We always know when you’re scheduled for a session,” in response to my puzzled look, they said, “[my client] is calmer; their demeanor is better before and after they spend time with you.” This particular client was very challenging. They lived an entitled, political life. Their best friends were first names we’d recognize; they were short on patience and demanded loyalty and excellence, to almost perfection. Here’s the problem among many things:
They forgot that people are imperfect.
As a result, staff imperfection was almost like a plague in their minds that needed to be eradicated rather than developed, mentored, or coached. Imagine working in a pressure cooker like that day in and day out. They would call me at ridiculous hours and expect me to pick up. They treated me like a confident and not their coach. Soon, I was mediating conflict between this leader, their board, and their staffers. Renegotiating the contract was easy. The difficult part was setting boundaries and maintaining mental and emotional focus.
As coaches, we never know exactly what we will bump up against. We can have a sense, but there are often surprises that, if we aren’t mentally and emotionally prepared, we too can get caught in the swirling flux of hot topics personally and professionally. Looking back over those years, I learned quite a bit about remaining grounded during tumultuous times.
- Self-Care
I reminded myself to stay present and focused when spending time with the client, which helped my client do the same. I also realized the importance of exercise and balanced meals. Eating breakfast and preparing for lunch on those office days was a requirement. Finally, getting plenty of rest the night before and creating space to unwind after my sessions were mental health requirements.
- Establish Clear Professional Boundaries
Initially, I believed this client had me at #1 on their speed-dial list before I set professional boundaries. I don’t mind giving my executive clients my cell phone, but this was the client for whom I had to set and maintain clear boundaries. When they crossed those boundaries, I allowed the call to go to voicemail until the next business day. I also had to remind this client that I was their coach/advisor rather than therapist. My work was on their leadership presence, reputation, and communication, not to advise them on items outside of this scope, our coaching agreement, and my professional abilities.
- My Tribe of Trusted Others
Coaches need support. I tapped into my coaching peers when I needed to share my experiences without naming names and provide a type of gut check. This practice helped me make sure I did not blur any lines and get absorbed into the fabric of their organizational dynamics. Another option coaches only sometimes remember is the value of seeking the support of more experienced coaches when needed. This type of mentoring is another grounding practice that coaches can easily forget exists for their accountability and guidance.
- Continual Learning
I can’t stress enough how important it is for coaches to never stop learning. Realizing you don’t know it all and surrounding yourself with mentors and coaching peers is just the beginning. I regularly assess potential gaps in my learning from coaching experiences, which leads me to various books, tools, and other resources that enable the expansion of my coaching capabilities.
- Learn the Power of NO
Stop and think about the behaviors that are no longer serving you. As a professional coach, you can stay grounded by mastering the art of saying “no,” which is essential for maintaining focus, setting boundaries, and avoiding burnout. By clarifying your priorities and aligning decisions with your core values, you can more easily recognize when to decline opportunities that don’t serve your goals. These priorities include determining who your target client is. Trying to coach every need that exists is a recipe for distraction and chaos and will drive you away from the feeling of being grounded. Focus on attracting and retaining your ideal client and find polite but firm ways to say “no” by referring those who are not your target client to coaches who are better suited to provide coaching support. This allows you to decline requests without guilt and ensures you don’t overcommit. The practice of saying “no” is an act of self-care that ultimately enhances your service quality. By choosing what to say “yes” to, you can maintain your energy and continue offering impactful support to your clients.
There you have it, my top five strategies for staying grounded. You’ll know you’re grounded, capable of maintaining emotional and mental focus, and making sound decisions when you face situations that attempt to take you in the opposite direction, and you find the strength to resist.
Let’s continue the conversation by connecting with your colleagues on our Facebook page
