We are pleased to share an article entitled “Trust: Why Is It Intrinsic to Coaching?” written by Jenny Wang.
Coach: “What would you like to take away from our time together today?”
Client: [Sighs.] “I want to find a more fulfilling job, but I’m not sure I’d be good at it. I’d hate to invest the time, energy, and money only to find out later that it’s not for me.”
When clients face uncertainty and ambiguity, how do they make sound decisions? And when they lack self-trust, how can coaches best support them? Within the coaching profession, we often emphasize active listening, powerful questioning, and goal setting. Yet beneath every effective technique lies a deeper, often less visible force: trust.
What is trust?
In Trust and Power, Niklas Luhmann (1979) defines trust as “the willingness to be vulnerable to another person or system, based on the expectation of positive or at least non-harmful intentions and behavior.” This definition underscores several key functions of trust:
- Without trust, decision-making can become paralyzed.
- Trust enables action despite incomplete information.
- It represents both a leap of faith and a rational strategy for managing uncertainty.
- Trust allows individuals to relinquish control, take risks, and engage in personal growth.
In the coaching relationship—where clients are often navigating ambiguity, confronting limitations, or reevaluating core beliefs—trust creates the psychological safety essential for truth-telling, experimentation, and sustained accountability.
How does it work?
One of the most widely cited models of trust is that of Mayer, Davis, and Schoorman (1995), which identifies three core dimensions of trustworthiness:
- Ability – the perception of competence and skill.
Self-reflection: Did I demonstrate the necessary competencies in this context? - Benevolence – the belief that the other party has your best interests at heart.
Self-reflection: Did I clearly communicate my intentions, highlighting shared goals and mutual benefit, rather than focusing solely on personal gain? - Integrity – adherence to principles that the trustor finds acceptable.
Self-reflection: Do I understand the other person’s core values, and did I frame my proposal or request in alignment with those values (e.g., commitment to deadlines, thoroughness, or other guiding principles)?
The trustor—the one deciding whether to place trust—evaluates these dimensions, either consciously or unconsciously, before choosing to be vulnerable. When the perceived rewards of trusting outweigh the perceived risks, trust is more likely to be granted.
What is the neuroscience of trust?
A growing body of neuroscience research has revealed how specific brain systems regulate trust-related behavior.
When a person experiences social bonding such as trust, oxytocin, a neuropeptide, releases into bloodstream. When a person experiences threat or betrayal, whether real or perceived, the amygdala activates prompting flight or fight reactions. Meanwhile, the prefrontal cortex helps regulate these impulses, evaluating whether a person or situation is safe.
Thus, trust is a negotiation between our primitive threat systems and our higher-order reasoning. Coaches and leaders must recognize that building trust is not only about logical arguments or credentials—it’s about co-regulating emotional safety.
How do we increase trust with our clients?
The first meeting with a new client is one of the most critical moments in the coaching relationship. It is when a coach establishes credibility, builds mutual connection, and sets clear intentions for the work ahead.
First 30 Seconds:
A warm welcome, paired with authentic curiosity, is essential in the first 30 seconds of the session. For example:
“Hi Susan, it’s wonderful to meet you. Thank you for taking the time today. How are you feeling as you step into this session?”
Why does this work? It immediately acknowledges and honors the client’s presence, inviting emotional openness. This models presence and empathy, aligned with ICF Core Competency 4: Cultivates Trust and Safety.
State Your Intention:
Helping clients understand your intention—and affirming that you have their best interests at heart—creates psychological safety, especially when the coach may need to challenge their thinking or hold them accountable. For example:
“Susan, as your thinking partner, my role is to help unlock your hidden wisdom and co-create solutions with you. Would you be open to me challenging you at times?”
Why does this work? It reassures the client that your purpose in challenging them is in service of their growth, not to assert your own viewpoint.
Refrain from Showcasing Individual Testimonials:
In an era where testimonials are often used to build credibility, some coaches share clients’ positive feedback along with identifiable information such as names, photos, or direct quotes (with permission). I strongly discourage this practice.
Why? Psychological safety is foundational to building trust, and coaches are bound by ethical standards to preserve client confidentiality. Instead of public testimonials, consider sharing credibility through anonymous, aggregated feedback or survey results that protect client privacy.
How do I help myself build trust?
Among all my clients, I’ve observed that self-trust varies widely. Some clients can sometimes appear intimidating, especially when a coach hasn’t held similar roles in their own career. This can lead to moments of self-doubt. Below are a few tactics I use to navigate these moments, and I hope they spark some ideas for you as well:
- Trust your clients.
Your client chose you for a reason—whether it’s your credibility, personality, or coaching style. Instead of doubting myself without any evidence, I focus on how to serve my clients better through my coaching, grounded in the many instances of positive feedback I’ve received. Meet them where they are. - Reframe negative self-talk.
When self-doubt arises, I’ve found that reframing negative thoughts is highly effective. For example:- Negative: “Will I be helpful to them?”
- Reframe: “With my coaching experience and credentials, I’ve helped many senior-level clients breakthrough in the past. I know that coaching can be a transformative experience.”
- Foster unconditional self-trust with a growth mindset.
Rather than basing self-trust solely on past achievements, credentials, or external validation, I cultivate an attitude of foundational self-trust. This sounds like: “I don’t know how to do it yet, but I trust that I can figure it out. I can read, learn, talk with mentors, and grow.” This mindset allows me to remain confident and adaptable, even in unfamiliar territory.
How do I help clients to build trust?
Lack of self-trust is one of the primary reasons clients seek coaching. When the future feels unpredictable and clients are navigating ambiguity, fear, and uncertainty, coaches can help by inviting them to reframe their perspectives. Consider the following examples:
Client Situation 1:
“I’m considering a career transition, but I’m not sure I’ll be good at it. I’d hate to invest my time and money and later regret it.”
Coaching Questions:
- “Imagine you invested your time and money, and three years later decided it wasn’t for you. Would it still feel worthwhile?”
- “Picture yourself at 80 years old, sitting in a rocking chair reflecting on your life—would you regret never having tried?”
- “What do you need to know in order to decide whether you’re good at it?”
These questions invite clients to clarify their values, explore possible outcomes, and surface their true desires—often leading to greater clarity and actionable next steps.
Client Situation 2:
“I recently joined a new team from a different background. It feels like everyone knows more than I do. In meetings, I hold back from speaking up because I’m afraid I’ll say something wrong and hurt my credibility.”
Coaching Questions:
- “When you interact with a junior colleague or someone less experienced than you, do you automatically assume they have nothing valuable to contribute?”
This intentionally exaggerated question can spark an “aha” moment, helping clients realize that everyone has something to offer.
- “What would you say to that junior colleague if they were afraid their input might be perceived as foolish?”
This reflective exercise often helps clients reframe their inner dialogue and begin to trust that their own voice matters.
The Nuances of Trust
While trust is often discussed in black-and-white terms—either it exists or it doesn’t—in reality, it is far more nuanced.
- Trust is domain-specific.
A client may trust a coach’s emotional support but question their strategic thinking—or vice versa. Effective coaches pay attention to subtle client reactions and explore them with curiosity. For example:
“You seem a bit hesitant—what just crossed your mind?”
“I noticed a slight drop in your energy—how are you feeling right now?”
These questions help uncover unspoken concerns and deepen the coaching relationship. - Cultural factors shape trust.
What signals trustworthiness in one culture (e.g., direct eye contact) may be perceived as arrogance or disrespect in another. When coaching across cultures, coaches must be attuned to clients’ verbal and nonverbal cues—such as tone, facial expressions, and body language—and interpret them within the appropriate cultural context.
Conclusion
Trust is the invisible architecture that supports every breakthrough, whether for coaches or clients. It is wired into our brains, rooted in our deepest need for connection, and indispensable in the art of coaching. When coaches master the delicate craft of building trust, they ignite transformation, unlock potential, and change lives.
References:
- Luhmann, N. (1979). Trust and Power. John Wiley & Sons.
- Mayer, R.C., Davis, J.H., & Schoorman, F.D. (1995). An integrative model of organizational trust. Academy of Management Review, 20(3), 709-734.
- Zak, P. J., Kurzban, R., & Matzner, W. T. (2005). Oxytocin is associated with human trustworthiness. Hormones and Behavior, 48(5), 522-527.
- International Coaching Federation (2021). ICF Core Competencies.
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