We are pleased to share an article entitled “ Describing Magic ~ How to showcase the value of coaching to prospective clients” written by Marcia Reynolds.
When people feel uncomfortable in a conversation, they either talk too much or they forget what to say and shut down. Coaches tend to err on the side of saying too much before piquingthe curiosity of a prospect. Instead of engaging the prospect to talk about a challenge so they can discover how to best tie the value of being coached to resolving the person’s dilemma, they leap to painstakingly describing what they do in a coaching session.
Describing what they do before discovering how they can best be of service is a sure way to lose a prospect’s attention.
This article offers descriptions of the value of coaching to share with potential clients after a coaching opportunity is revealed. If someone asks what you do, tell them you can best describe it if they would be willing to share a dilemma they are facing, a recurring source of frustration they would like to resolve, or if there is something important that is bothering them about the future.
Demonstrating the Benefits
Successful sales professionals know that sharing the benefits of a product or service is more important than describing the details of pieces and parts. People want to know what you can do for them and why it works. Then they might ask you how you do it.
People buy the impact of coaching. Even if they ask what you do, don’t tell them the process you use until they know they need you.
The following descriptions are designed to give you the foundation of what you might say to demonstrate the value you provide as a coach. Take a few key points from the three facts that correlates to the challenge the person conveys. Then practice relating the specific value you can offer them and then generally, why having a coach is the best way to discover effective resolutions to their challenges.
1. Coaching activates the brain. Giving advice pacifies it.
Many leaders tell me they don’t have time to coach. They also think people just want answers, not conversations. Even if this were true, when you tell people what to do, you activate their short-term memory in their thinking brain. If they don’t act on your advice right away, your suggestion will get blocked by their worries and lost to the distractions that take up space in their brain soon after your conversation.
No matter what information supports a recommendation, the idea may not be embraced. Good information doesn’t guarantee a change behavior. Do you know you should be doing something but you’re not? Knowing often doesn’t translate into doing.
In contrast to telling people what to do, coaching stimulates thinking. As explained in the choice article, “Sustainable Change: How coaching accelerates learning and growth,” coaching pulls out the stories directing today’s behavior so people can examine their thinking in a way they can’t do for themselves.
They then see the old beliefs that no longer serve them, consider how much truth there is in a fear or doubt, identify needs that aren’t being met, and recognize conflicts around what they should do that are keeping them stuck. When they see new ways of approaching problems on their own, they act on their insights with more confidence even when there is uncertainty and risk.
2. The smarter the person, the greater the need for coaching.
Smart people are the best rationalizers. They define themselves as the person who knows, so their brains oppose notions that indicate they could be wrong. Arguments and corrections feel like attacks on their identity. They adeptly justify their protective thinking, decisions and actions.
They will defend their opinions as facts.
Telling smart people what they should do that doesn’t confirm what they already know is usually a waste of time. Instead, coaches ask how they see a situation and then summarize what critical beliefs, repeated phrases, presumed emotions or motivation are expressed when they tell their story. When they hear their thinking patterns from the coach, they may discover a fault in their assumptions on their own.
When the coach asks what the key phrases mean, clients are prompted to clarify their statements, which could lead them to a better understanding of their perspective. Then the coach might ask what has occurred that led them to these beliefs. If done with caring curiosity, clients restructure their thinking in the moment, expanding or changing what they now know. Coaches maintain respect for their clients’ intellect while opening their mind to see what new actions they can take.
3. Coaching moves people through the discomfort of learning.
Most people do not like the feelings of uncertainty and doubt that accompany not knowing the answers. When they don’t know what to do when faced with a difficult situation – or worse, how to explain what is going on – they feel unstable, even helpless. To gain some sense of control, they quickly assign meaning to a situation even if they know they have little evidence to support their views or they are using outdated beliefs to ease their discomfort.
To open the window to new ways of thinking, coaches create a safe and trusting connection with clients so they feel willing to explore their thoughts. Then, when they hear their words reflected back to them, and are asked about the emotions they express, their automatic processing is disrupted.
They may feel sad, angry, or embarrassed when they finally see the unsupported reasoning they are clinging to, how their fears based on past experiences are limiting their current choices, and how they are allowing what other people say they should do to control their actions. With active support over time, the new ways of thinking and behaving become the comfortable new way of seeing
When people stay stuck in their old stories, they live more in fear than fulfillment. The widespread use of a coaching approach in our conversations can uplift consciousness and encourage healthy ways of living and working together in the world. This is the value and gift of coaching.
Having Effective Discovery Conversations
Even before you explain how coaching works, if you can uncover a challenge the person is facing, you can tie the value of coaching to helping them resolve or dissolve the challenge. Here are some questions you can use to uncover a coaching opportunity:
- What is a challenge or nagging question you have about your life or work that you know you need to address but haven’t?
- If you have tried to address your challenge, what hasn’t been as effective as you had hoped?
- Do you know the cost of not addressing this situation now or in the future?
- What could you gain if you could resolve this challenge or find a new way to live with it?
- Are you interested in hearing how coaching might help you move forward?
If the answer to the last question is yes, give them a taste of coaching so they recognize something they had not seen or avoided considering until now. The moment they have a new awareness, ask them if the insight is indicating an action they can take. Then you can explain the benefits and value of working with a coach. The experience gives them a context to better understand what you are offering.
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