We are pleased to share an article entitled “0077” by David McNally.
According to the AARP, in 2024, in the United States alone, 12,500 people a day reach the age of 65, the time of ‘retirement’. It does not take long before the fantasies surrounding this new stage of life burst. The cruises and cocktails, while perhaps for a time enjoyable, create unanticipated angst. Existential questions surface. Is this what my life is now about? Is this it? Is this all? And, most importantly, the realization surfaces that a sense of purpose has been lost.
As a professional in the human development industry for close to fifty years, I am intrigued by how the disorientation of this demographic creates a significant opportunity for coaching. The question “what’s next” among so many of them is pervasive. Encouragingly, there is a wealth of supporting data to suggest that many who have reached their later years have the desire to ensure they are among their best years. My experience suggests that they are also readily willing to invest in discovering what their lives will now be about.
I offer my own story as an example.
Dr. No. 1962. James Bond, 007, the iconic number that requires no explanation. A seventeen-year-old boy leaves the movie theater with a clear vison for his future: fast cars, beautiful women, and exotic adventures. Now if he could only get rid of those pimples on his face!
I love James Bond and am among the first to see any new movie. Sixty years on, Bond’s assuredness and invincibility still have enormous appeal. Life, however, has tested my own assuredness, and certainly I am not invincible. Looking back, however, my Bond fantasies were somewhat realized.
In my twenties I owned an Aston Martin and I have lived in several different countries. I married two beautiful women, both of whom sadly have passed away.
As of this writing I have reached the age of 77 (hence 0077) and acknowledge the desires of that seventeen-year-old have long passed. Yet, the passion for adventure, to serve a worthy purpose, to have extraordinary experiences, remains. James Bond is known to have preferred his martini shaken but not stirred. To experience the feeling of being fully alive, however, life needs regularly to be both shaken and stirred.
Let me expand on that thought. Life will always challenge us—that is its nature. Health may trip us; finances may concern us. Our family and the world will disappoint us. Tragedy may strike. But each morning, no matter the circumstances, we are faced with a choice. Do we focus on the mess of life with an “Ain’t it awful” mentality or, difficult as it may be, consider the opportunities. We are still needed and loved, and continuing to care for ourselves and others is a compelling reason to get our increasingly inflexible bodies out of bed.
At 77, the mirror unquestionably reflects a man growing older. Yet I resist the word “old” as a self-description. The mantle of “Elder” (or Jimmy Bond’s granddad) is one I more readily embrace. In many societies, an Elder is seen as the holder of wisdom, someone from whom the younger generation can learn. Mistakes can be avoided, skills can be honed, relationships can be enriched, bonds can be built. Elders have a unique purpose to fulfil that lasts while they last.
Becoming an Elder is also a precious gift that allows the reinvention of ourselves. “Aging,” said David Bowie, “is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been.” As an Elder we get to explore who we should have been. That is not to suggest being dissatisfied with who we are, but to be curious, to be willing to challenge our opinions, to take off the masks, and reveal hidden talents.
In other words, are we about contraction or expansion. Yes, I need to stretch each morning to get the stiffness out of my body, but the compensation for our aching bones is the flexibility of our minds. Imagination is a fountain of youth that never runs dry. Award-winning choreographer Twyla Tharp writes in her book, Keep It Moving!, “Age is not the enemy. Stagnation is the enemy.”
While my grandchildren may be fans of Taylor Swift, my inspiration comes from rock stars such as Bob Dylan and Mick Jagger (both in their 80’s) who are still performing in sold out stadiums. Novelists such as Joyce Carol Oats (in her 80’s) and Edna O’Brien (in her 90’s) continue to write prolifically. In 2019, John Goodenough, at the age of 98, won the Nobel Prize for chemistry.
My own work remains fulfilling. A mantra I have adopted is: If you’re funny and wise, age doesn’t matter. This was validated in the audience response from a keynote speech I gave recently at a Habitat for Humanity conference. The message of how to leave an indelible mark on the world appears to be as relevant as ever. People want to be inspired and know that their lives matter. That desire does not change no matter your age.
“All we ask, writes Atul Gawande in his book: Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End, “is to be allowed to remain the writers of our own story. That story is ever changing. Over the course of our lives, we may encounter unimaginable difficulties. Our concerns and desires may shift. But whatever happens, we want to retain the freedom to shape our lives in ways consistent with our character and loyalties.”
As human beings, we live life on a feeling level. No matter how rational we think we are, each of us wants to feel good as much as we can. Beyond good health, feeling good is more than finding fun things to do, or the buzz that comes from a cocktail. The feelings that truly mean something come from our sense of self-worth, our bonds with family and friends, our engagement with community, and our belief that we still have something of value to offer the world.
If you, as a coach, can help others experience those feelings, you have fulfilled your purpose.
Cheers 0077!
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