We recently published this article called “10 Ways Women Might Be Sabotaging Themselves as Leaders, and How You Can Help Them as a Coach” written by Wendy Capland, MCC in our latest issue.
Here’s what Wendy had to say in the article called…
10 Ways Women Might Be Sabotaging Themselves as Leaders, and How You Can Help Them as a Coach
Women often unknowingly sabotage or minimize themselves, their voices, and their power. Feminine leadership is on the rise, and I believe we are on the brink of a world-altering phenomenon so enormous that women must get better prepared to step into their A-game and stop the behaviors that minimize their contributions, play down their accomplishments, and sabotage their careers.
The war for talent has shifted and women are sick and tired of sitting at the director and vice-president levels in their organizations. Women are going to make an exponential leap in the next 5 to10 years, and as a coach, you can have a tremendous impact in helping them become their fullest and best selves.
Here are the top 10 mistakes professional women make and my advice after 15 years of specifically helping women advance and 30 years of executive leadership development as to how to change these behaviors for NOT only us as women but also as coaches in order to help those women to claim the full measure of their power in the business world.
Whether you identify as male, female, or non-binary, your voice as a coach is very important and can make a BIG difference in the advancement of women and their leadership.
Using Minimizing Language
Women use words that minimize their own impact. The words ‘just,’ ‘sort of,’ ‘maybe,’ and ‘kind of ’ are some examples. How often do you say, “I just wanted to tell you something” or “I just wanted to stop you for a minute.” The qualifier ‘just’ sends the subtle message that our statements and opinions aren’t all that important.
There are other belittling words women are prone to using. For example, how often do women say, “I’m feeling ‘a little bit’ concerned about something.” I doubt you’re really feeling just a little bit concerned or you probably wouldn’t have brought it up in the first place. Instead, say you are feeling concerned and don’t couch your words with unnecessary extra minimizing words. Speaking powerfully is one of the best things you can do for yourself.
COACHING TIP: Develop the distinction with your client of the negative impact of using minimizing words and ask the client’s permission to point out when they use these words, so they can self-correct.
Women are prone to apologizing when there’s no reason to do so. Many women’s voicemail messages begin, “I’m sorry I’m featuring not able to take your call right now.”
Even in our voicemail, we apologize! Of course, apologize if you have made a mistake; otherwise, cut ‘sorry’ out of your everyday vernacular.
To check whether this applies to you, start counting how many times in one day you say the word ‘sorry.’ The act of counting will help you become aware of and reduce occurrences.
COACHING TIP: Start by asking the client where they notice they are doing this currently and what impact they think it might be having. Then explore changes, if any, they would like to make.
Tell us what you think about this article. How does it apply to you and the women in your life?
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